"God won't put on us more than we can handle" - an empty cliche` many times. Be More Compassionate.

I don't know about anyone else, but I get aggravated when people say incorrect things when you're going through something, and especially when they base it on a scripture that isn't really about the situation at hand. A good scripture and relevant to other circumstances, but not right then. 

One of those things is "God won't put on us more than we can handle". Please stop saying that unless you're referring to temptation...
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1 Corinthians 10:13, ESV: "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."
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So the scripture was about temptation. The next time you're tempted to say something like that, please either refrain, or have a better scripture to quote instead that deals with the situation at hand, or better yet, tell a person that you're praying for them or that God is their refuge, because when you just quote that part about God not putting more on us than we can handle, not only is it irrelevant in certain situations, it rings back kind of hollow to the person going through the situation. 

I remember feeling like it was some kind of a Band-Aid cliche` that people wanted to say to make them feel better about trying to console me, rather than really giving me good counsel. It also made them look a little bit ignorant, and seemed to be an excuse for them to go their merry way because they thought that they had said "the right thing". I'd rather hear nothing at all.

Not long after my son died, once the numbness wore off and the shock, I got very angry at God. But I sure heard the above cliche` a lot, and I sure wanted to hurt people when they said it to me right then! They were clueless, though. I have to be thankful that they don't know what it is like. 

Another thing that drove me crazy was someone telling me they knew "exactly how I feel" ... No one knows exactly how someone else feels... because their circumstances are different and so is the way they deal with things in general. There are things that people know nothing of about someone else. 

Sometimes people compare the death of an animal or a loved one to the loss that another person is going through. 
It's heart-wrenching to lose a loved one or pet. It's heart-wrenching to lose a child. Grief hurts the same in many ways, but don't tell me you know "exactly' how I feel because of a loss you experienced. This isn't a contest, And honestly, it usually doesn't make a person feel any better! 

I'm not trying to diminish someone else's loss, but by saying something like that, it makes a person feel as if The person saying it is trying to diminish your loss. Capiche? - Again, I think people say it trying to help, but it isn't too helpful. 
If someone loses a child, I may let them know that I too, have lost a child, along with my condolences. I mention that I have lost as well, only to offer grief counseling (free of charge) just so they can talk about it to someone who's been through it. Never, ever do I tell them I know exactly how they feel. I just feel that through The journey through deep valley of the loss of my child, I gained a lot of wisdom, and it makes my son's death mean something positive if I can help other people.

At first, I accepted it all because I was kind of in shock. That numbness wore off, and my common sense came back, along with a lot of building rage. 

So, if you've never been through something like that, the best thing to say is simply, "I'm sorry for your loss". It seems so much more sincere, and no one has to double think the meaning of it. It also may keep you from getting your head ripped off by an angry mom that's lost a child, lol. I'm so glad that I was was delivered out of that mindset, but it sure took a long time (because I rebelled and would have nothing to do with God for quite some time).

Anyway, my real point is, we need to have more compassion for our fellow man. 
- Think about that. Do you like being blown off with a cliche` when all you need is to feel like people are there for you?
Of course not. 
So, treat others the way you would want to be treated. I say that to remind myself also. I am so, so not perfect!

As for going through hard situations, God is there to go through things with us, but he expects us to turn to him.  He's not just going to not be there for us, but we have free will, so if we don't go to him, he doesn't push himself on us. He's just there waiting. There are tons of scriptures about that.
Here is what I would say is probably my favorite:

"He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

So simple, yet comforting.

This is so contrary to what I felt a short time ago - I apologize to anyone and everyone that I lashed out at about God!

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