Sodom and Gomorrah and the way I think...

I'm reading the Bible again and I slack about it sometimes, but I'm trying to go from Genesis all the way through. Once I do that, I will go into a guided rereading that doesn't include every single word of the book all the way through. If I'm still alive by the time I finish that is, lol. I love to read, I'm just easily distracted and other things take precedence.

I just finished reading about Abraham & Sarah and how they decided to have Abraham marry and knock up the servant chick, Hagar... If they would have just prayed, trusted in God, and been patient, that wouldn't have even been necessary. We all have that struggle. It's so hard to just trust and not get impatient! They were doubtful Sarah would ever reproduce, which I totally understand - but if you can't have kids, there's always adoption. Yes, that was my humor at play, but then I seriously wonder if they really coulda taken on some other child that had no mom or something. 

Anyway... Hagar had to go through the bad treatment by Sarah, and it wasn't even fair. Unnecessary stress! I don't handle that well. I guess Hagar didn't either! Plus, Sarah said that Abraham getting Hagar pregnant would give HER a child. I disagree. It's Hagar's child! That was kind of selfish of Sarah, in my opinion. If Sarah would have treated her decent maybe they could have shared the child, but, nooooooo....

Onward - The continued reading brought the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. I remember the story from when I was a child and went to children's church and Sunday school. I always kinda thought it was just a story, and not real then. Just something they said that that happened back when dirt was first invented, even though my teacher assured me that it really happened. I was a real pain in the neck back then, lol. God bless you, sister Francis Hastings!

I am a natural skeptic... My dad was a detective, and I really learned a lot from him. So I deduce. I have always had the natural tendency to do that, anyway. I seem to question everything in my head when I hear or read stuff. It has to be broken down and many times, investigated to make sense to me. I am a fact-checkin' fool! Dad's profession just kind of made it stand out more. I tend to be a little nitpicky and OCD about stuff like that. Sometimes I overthink it and have to step away. 

I'm not trying to doubt God's word. I just think things get lost in translation sometimes and it's hard for me to grasp certain things as fact, so I try not to overanalyze some things cuz I know I'll make myself crazy. Yet, by nature, I still do most of the time!
Also, there's that supernatural factor that we mere humans struggle with sometimes.

The thing that bugged me the most in this particular chapter (19) -(many things have bugged me in prior reading to this point that I haven't written about) is the part where, In order to protect the angels, Lot was willing to throw his two virgin daughters to the wolves. 
For Petes sake, do you not think the angels could protect themselves? Later in the chapter, the angels blinded the mob (I imagine it as being kind of like the bright light tool thing Men in Black used, but not to erase memory) and they all went away, so there's your proof. They're all chummy with God, sooooo...
Yeah, so Lot was willing to throw his virgin daughters out there to that twisted, evil mob. So I got defensive about that as I read. I don't understand it, but maybe it was just out of awe and respect for the holy angels that in Lot's eyes somehow took precedence over his own children. Still, as a mom, I struggle to grasp that.

So, I continued reading about the Angels hustling them out of Sodom and saving them all, except the fools who didn't believe Lot, and Lot's wife who decided to look back and turned into a pillar of salt (Man, don'tcha wish you had that statue? I bet it's worth a fortune :D ). 

But then, Lot's daughters got him drunk and had intercourse with him. Then I naturally questioned whether they were really virgins or not before that went down. I mean, come on... maybe they just played that innocent act. I guess it's not really relevant, but still, that's where my mind goes due to questioning everything. Then, I recalled earlier being defensive about Lot being willing to throw them to the wolves. But after their little shenanigans, I decided that he maybe should have let the mob have at them, because later they would do something like this - all in the name of "procreation"  - I just wonder about that.  Forgive me if I'm wrong, but their mom had been crystallized, and they got their lonely dad drunk and he was probably jonesing anyway (just in general, I don't mean he lusted after his daughters). I wonder if he felt any guilt over it. I know he was drunk and kinda wasn't aware of what was going on, but that could have been an act just like the virgin thing the daughter's were claiming. See how I think? Probably not a good thing! I can't just accept the things that are set in a story without delving into it and taking different avenues to see what I really think about it and all the different possibilities therein.
Disclaimer: I try to find humor in things, and my mind made that funny somehow. If you don't find that funny and you're offended, I'm sorry. If you hang around with me very much, you have to get my weird sense of humor. If you don't, it's probably best to not be around me or read my junk anymore. You've been warned. I don't need to be crucified over it, so please refrain. To those of you who got the humor in that - you are my tribe, lol.

What some of you may think is a sin, other people may not. I'm not trying to say that sin applies to some and not to others, you just have to understand how bad I used to be. I mean, ridiculously BAD. 
My saintly, sweet, awesome Christian grandmother who I never thought sinned at all, told me one time that she sinned every day. Later she explained that sometimes even her thoughts could be considered sinful and she prayed for forgiveness every day. I couldn't understand that, because she was perfect in my eyes, but because of her walk with Christ and her dedication, she found certain things to be sinful that I would have never thought twice about. She said the word damn one time. Things went silent and jaws dropped. That's how out of character it was for her to say that. Yet other people say it, and don't think twice. She didn't have the word God in front of it, but she still felt bad and said it was a sin! I guess it all comes with certain levels regarding your walk with Christ and how strong it is? 

Right now, I'm just struggling to not say curse words. I don't think that's even possible at this point, but I AM trying and praying that the Holy Spirit works with me on recognizing that I said something or thought something and it was wrong. I have to pray for forgiveness about a million times a day when stuff flys out of my mouth, or even appears in my thoughts. I'm better than I was, and I'm an imperfect work in progress. I'm sure thankful that God knows my heart. I'm sooooo HONEST with him. There's no other way you can be! He knows anyway! He's my best buddy and I talk to him in exactly that fashion. From my heart.

Did I get off track or what! Haha. That's how my brain works. Constant distractions and thoughts going a million miles an hour. Focus, kid!

Genesis is a very weird book of the Bible because it goes into all the ancestry of who had who and how they went on to have a thousand other kids that lived to be 10 million years old and all that. That part, I just kind of skim. And yes, I'm exaggerating about the numbers. Some of that didn't make sense, having to do with how all these other generations came into play, but it's something to do with those giant angels (Some say evil "angels", some have a different theory) who were on the other team (and this is a whole other blog, because there are some things I didn't understand about all that) and stuff.

I just wanted to write about that. So I did. Take it or leave it!

I just wonder if anybody else is as bad as I am about nitpicking things and trying to figure out how it all works together in a story. I'm sure it's not just me. 

Please know I'm not saying the Bible is false, or the stories. I'm just saying I struggle to wrap my head around it. I'm thinking about it in terms of how it all fell into place and what motives people, God or angels had when they what they did and the scenario went down.

If you read this far, bless your heart!

Roger Wilco over and out. 

Popular posts from this blog

Open & closed doors, free will and trust

Today I was chatting with my sister about open and closed doors. I believe that we constantly have doors in front of us and it's like we're in a long hallway.  Those doors represent choices that we can make (or not make) based on the options offered behind them. Some of the doors are wide open, some are partially opened and some are closed (but keep in mind that those closed doors may open later when the time is right but when they're closed they're not for us right at that time). Then, my thoughts went to free will. We all have it. But sadly, as human beings we tend to be a little stupid sometimes and we want our way. Sometimes instead of choosing what would be the logical thing, which would be an open door - and if there is more than one open door, the right open door, which we have to figure out ourselves. The best way is not rely on just us and our own understanding. The Bible says, "“Trust in the Lord with all  your  heart and  lean not  on  your own...
Read more

What I hope to accomplish...

I decided to try to start faithfully blogging. There's no guarantee that I'll stick with it, but in my heart, I hope I do. I've tried stuff like this before and never formed the habit. I'm easily distracted, and totally unmotivated. Those two things are a recipe for disaster, lol.  What I really need to do is write a book. But that means that I would need to find someone who would follow me around and ask me questions about my life because the things that randomly pop in my head are all out of order and all messed up. I doubt that's going to happen, so I guess this is the next best thing. I will write about my life, but my reasoning isn't to draw attention to myself. My reasoning is to stress the lessons that were learned because of the situations presented.  Even though life has been hard, it's not something that I want to be a cry and whine type thing. It's about blazing your own path and pioneering through everything life hands you in spite of how unb...
Read more

Onward to the juice fast!

Yesterday I decided to go ahead and fall into a juice fast since I got paid.  I purchased all organic fruit and all organic vegetables. My grocery bill was higher than it usually is on getting enough food to hopefully make it through 2 weeks. My rationalization is, this is for my health, and how do we put a price on that?  Right now, I desperately need to be saving money for my future and retirement because it's going to be rough, but I have to trust God to provide for me as needed. My health is much more important and I could die tomorrow, who knows? If I do, then yay! I'm ready! Juicing is interesting. I hate to waste anything, so the juice that I make creates the pulp that grinds out of the juicer. With vegetable pulp, I make a vegetable broth and I do end up having to throw out all the pulp that was in the broth, but that broth is what I use in the evening that I heat up. I drink the vegetable JUICE in the afternoon or early evening when I feel hungry. I really try to test...
Read more